I have a friend. He is charming, smart, handsome and kind. He is also gay and in a long-term committed relationship.

The other night I dreamed that he and I were married. The dream consisted of several unconnected vignettes–us at a restaurant, us walking in snow, us reading side by side–us always connected and smiling, content.

I awoke pondering the dream and its significance. It stuck with me and I noodled it around until it hit me. I know now that the dream was truly about what I miss about being single. Not the sex, although, heaven knows, that can be a wonderful thing. This was not about that. What I really miss is the easy companionship of a life partner. The sharing and caring that comes with a healthy relationship. The ease and softness of knowing someone so well. Of having another being who cares when you don’t feel just right and brings you a cup of tea and a blanket. Who interrupts your reading to share a passage from their book. Who can massage your feet without an agenda of it leading to anything more. Who can walk alongside you on the beach, holding your hand, in sweet silence.

My life is wonderful. I am surrounded by so much love and abundance–and I know that and feel it so very deeply. I remain ever-grateful. And I zealously guard and adore my quiet and solo time. This dream was a reminder, however, of what I do miss.