Roots and Wings

I have often heard the saying that we need to give our children roots and wings.  I found providing the roots instinctual. It was in my nature to nurture. It was my pleasure to offer rhythm and to create ritual. It was a breeze for me to make our house a home and shelter–physically, emotionally and spiritually. All these efforts  came intuitively to me as I relished the wild wonder and real responsibility of being a mama. I feel certain that all three of my adult children are solidly rooted in themselves, their family, their communities and in the world. And I don’t mind taking some credit for that.

Now the wings part. This is a bit more challenging. Oh, not for them—for me! While I find the quiet that descends on my home when my adult children are off adventuring and living awesome lives elsewhere full of its own kind of richness, I miss them. It is a delight to me that I not only love my children, but I enjoy them. They surely have their wings, having spent numerous months backpacking the world, living and working in far flung places. It is me who recognizes the conundrum this time in my life offers, as well as the opportunity to hone my own skills as the proud and loving mother of grown children for whom I have provided those roots and wings. The mama who can no longer fix it all for them. The woman who has her own interests and talents to take time to further now. All that said, it remains a good news-bad news scenario in my book.

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8 Comments on “Roots and Wings

  1. I am planning a trip to Hawaii and your farm seems like a really good fit! Do you think your farm will ever be a vegan farm? If not do you know of any places in Hawaii that are 100% vegan? So far I haven’t found anything on the internet. Thank you and peace.

    • Thank you for your comment on my latest blog post. We are not a vegan farm and I feel certain we will not be in the future. We believe strongly in our choice to be conscious omnivores. Just as I’m sure you do in your food choices. I know farms that are vegan, but do not offer accommodations. Best of luck in your quest for the perfect spot for you. I know you will enjoy Kauai! Aloha.

  2. Oh Lee, I could have written this same post! I knew how to give my 3 roots and had so much fun doing it. Now that they are out their soaring, I must come to terms with who I am as a mother of adult children who have found their way in this world to do awesome things. And I also owe it to them to find a new voice/way of being in this next chapter of my life.
    So once again, as we were when we travel the path of homeschooling together from afar, we travel the next phase together and alas still from afar yet I like to think, as soul mates on the journey.
    With total understanding,
    Cyndie Kimball

    • What a joy to have this comment from you, Cyndie! Do let me hear the news of your three, please. It is always a pleasure to know we have shared this path.

  3. I’m right there with you sister. While I am excited for my adult children’s enthusiasm and zest for life and their desires to explore the world and themselves within it. I too miss them and the time when they were all cozy in our nest. I guess we did a great job fostering independent, self reliant, free thinking amazing young adults. Blessings for that and thank goodness for Skype, kakao talk and all the amazing technology that enables us to stay in touch with them and share their lives wherever they are.
    It’s difficult to think at times that it is our time now after all the years of being the nurturers and caretakers of our families. Transitions can often be challenging as we know. Knowing that I have a dear friend such as you nearby, a shoulder to cry on and someone to share stories with as we have all these years makes it all that much easier.
    I think it’s time to share that bottle of wine soon.
    Love you,

  4. Amen to all you just shared, dear sister. Love you a gazillion. And treasure those years we had with our wee ones together and the years to come.

  5. Hi, Lee,

    I always enjoy your blogs. Although I was never a mom, I’ve enjoyed witnessing the motherhood of my friends and watching the growth of their children. As fate would have it, I just saw Nell in Foodland 2 days ago. She’s just as gorgeous as ever, bright with light, love and that youthful energy of adventure as she casually told me she’d be wintering in Asia with her wonderful boyfriend. Wow! I have a niece who’s teaching at a Christian school in Nigeria for 2 yrs. She said she didn’t want to grow old and say “I wish I had.” I am happy and excited for them all… You are an amazing woman and your kids are so lucky to have been raised by you. Bless them on their way as they will continually return to your loving arms…

    xoxo Jeannie

  6. Although slightly premature, like my journey into menopause, I feel this too now that Charlie is a 13 year man-child. Will is still pickupable at 9 years old and the three of us spend daily tickle-time together but my role as a their Mom is in a new stage. I love your wisdom of roots and wings and the balance of the two resonates so much for me. My boys hold and hug me tighter than ever but also relish, strive for and need their independence. All this in a 15 minute span! Loving you from a far, Mary Lee, but feeling you so close at the same time. Thanks for sharing your blog…I’m a subscriber now! Love always,

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