Mama to Grown Children

Years back I pondered what parenting older grown children would be like. I thought it odd when people said they could not wait for their children to be eighteen so the difficult times would be over. Well, here I am — mother to a 37 year old, a 34 year old and a 30 year old. And, guess what?— the mothering never stops. I still worry and wonder. I am still their mama. I still worry when one of them is sick or sad. I still wonder how the obstacles in their paths will mold them. I often think I have done a fine job in being their mother, embracing and guiding them. And some days I believe I have really screwed up in how I have reacted to them. I am happy that they all like me, as well as love and respect me. That feels wonderful. But each day is new. Remember how you navigated newborn life, toddler life, young child life, teenage life, life watching them become more and more separate? How each milestone was new and you had to constantly adjust? It’s still the same for me. I have never been a mother to a 37 year old. And the 34 year old is taking that chapter on differently than her brother did at that age. And the 30 year old is also, of course, a completely different kind of guy. They each require an approach designed to best meet them where they are. So, my point is — it is always new! Always challenging. Often rewarding. Often frustrating. Full of love and lots of laughter. Each age and each child unique. And the process continues. Mothering doesn’t stop because my children are grown and independent. That’s the joy. That’s the constant work in the relationships. And mostly I feel up to the task I treasure more than anything —- being their mother. It’s just that it is different now, not necessarily easier, just different.

4 Comments on “Mama to Grown Children

  1. Absolutely the truth as I now mother my soon to be 36 yr old, 34 yr old and 29 yr old. All the best, Lee, in this incredible journey of mothering through the ages.

  2. I relate to your words Lee. Once a mother always a mother, our landscape changes but never our direction. We will love and care until the end of time.
    Love you so my sister in time ❤️

  3. I love this Lee. It says exactly how I feel. Thank you for expressing it all so well! You have such remarkable children who all seem to reflect your special mothering in their own unique ways. Do you mind me sharing this piece with my daughters and a few girlfriends?

    • It would make me happy to know you are sharing my blog with my mental meanderings with anyone!
      Much love – Lee

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